... and she never complained ...

Where did that come from and I want to know what husband said that!

I also what to know how it is that, not complaining is seen or said as though it’s some sort of virture. Doesn’t the person that say's that just mean that “she” never “complained” to him? Maybe it’s my interpretation of complain. It’s not the same as “nag” to me.

It’s sharing honest feelings, emotions, heartaches, sadness's, wishes, hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow.

I can say that my husband honestly knows me, who I am, who he married. He knows me and loves me, if he didn’t know all of those things, then who does he love anyway?

I think it’s important to share. Now sometimes, it becomes a “vent” and I will preface what I say as a vent if it’s a vent. It’s not blaming anyone for a situation, because you all know that things are what they are.

I’m sad when my husband leaves and when I “complain” that he has to go again, he never thinks that I actually think he can do something about it. He’s doing the very best he can. He’s doing the very best he can for ME and our children!

So, you may think that I complain when he leaves and I do, but it’s not a bad thing just the expression that I wish he didn’t have to. My complaint actually lets him know that I so wish he didn’t have to leave.

I’ll also “complain” that I’m always on the front line, but there’s that Queen of the Castle thing that isn’t so bad either. Now because I’m on the front line, even if he’s home and the garage door breaks it’s fixed by someone else the same day, I know how to get some things done. He’s happy about that.

So, I right now am feeling sad and complaining that we’re not independently wealthy and that my husband has to work so much and so far away most of the time. I like him in near proximity sometimes. He’s always near to my heart and I can talk to him everyday. I feel lucky that way, not everyone can talk or communicate everyday with their loved ones. So, now my complaint has turned into an expression of good fortune. Yay, I’ll get to chat with him shortly.

Now what I don't usually complain about are things that he can't fix or give me advice on. Like work. We have an understanding, if you need to vent, say that and then go ahead and vent. But if it's something he can't fix or give me great advice on and visa-versa then it's a waste of our precious time to discuss someting that is frivilous to the other, we'd rather discuss WHAT TO DO with this or that problem. I think we're pretty good at trusting eachother to manage our rehlm - him the providing - me "nurturing". There are strong overlaps for anyone that knows us, but he can do his job, I can do mine.

A little solicited advice never hurts sometimes either. So, balance in all things, I guess and I have just been bugged all day, because I've read or heard that phrase and now I know better why it may be my misinterpretation and it surly means "nag" to someone. I don't know, any ideas?

Technology Overload or Maybe Under-load

I sometimes try to teach different software applications to people. Many times, I have had someone, not always older either, become frustrated and feel overwhelmed. They can’t even ask a question, because they can’t figure out what their question is. All they are aware of, is the fact that they “don’t get it”, or are missing something.

I know that there is an underlying piece of the puzzle that they just don’t “see” or “get”. I understand that. That is why I’m usually able to walk them through, hold their hand, until all of a sudden this little light flickers and then suddenly comes on. They “get it”!

Today, I have experienced the same thing. I have been working with iTunes. You know how Apple has this slogan “There’s an App for That”? I’m here to tell you, that it’s a lie. I spent awhile at the “Genius Bar” and guess what, there’s NOT an “App” for about four things that I need. "They" said that Apple finds the simplest way to do something and then trashes the rest, because it’s redundant. Therefore, we’re going backward, if you don’t want to do it their way or if they don’t do it, you can’t do what you want.

I wanted something simple, like sort my “Notes” on my iPhone alphabetically. See, I name them so that I can do that … nope! Latest used is on the top. It doesn’t matter that I just want to go a step farther. I should be able to do that, but only if I want to, nothing required of everyone, just “if you want to”. Well, I “want to” do some easy things and they just said no.

I’ve also heard the term that “Apple works”, is that a ploy on Microsoft’s application suite called “Works”? Because, that isn’t true either.

Ok, so I’ve named names here, Apple, Microsoft, iTunes and iPhone. Here is a question for cyber space, why don’t my text messages and appointment alerts announce through my Bluetooth anymore? I’m fixin’ to take it all back … 30 days, no way, 2 week return policy. See, once you figure out it isn’t you and that there aren’t apps for what you want and some stuff it just won’t do, it’s too late.

So, if you know of an App that will read my texts or appointment alerts automatically through my phone or Bluetooth (which ever I choose) when it comes through, so that I don’t have to look at my phone, please share it. I feel like I’ve gone backward 10 years, not a step ahead.

It could be me and I just don’t “see”, but those people with a tag around their neck titled “Genius” could not “see” either.

Signed,

Frustrated!

Micro-Manage/ed

I feel like I'm mostly competent in the areas that I have to manage. I confess, I am a recovering micro-manager. I'm trying so hard to delegate and let that person, run with the ball. I figure, if they need assistance they'll ask and not just "drop the ball".

Sometimes, I like to be micro-managed, tell me what you want accomplished and exactly how you want it done, IF THAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU. I'll do it that way. However, if I am assigned a task, I can do it, if I can't, have a questions or need help, I'm not afraid to ask.

I mostly don't enjoy having someone micro-manage my tasks. If they wanted it done their way; they should outline "their way" so I have something to follow, or they should do it themselves. Especially; if they're a "hard to please" person or a perfectionist of some kind (since perfection varies from person to person).

This again goes to all of those areas we find ourselves managers. Not just work, but home, community etc...

If you're a micro-manager, work on it, most people don't enjoy it. I'm trying, really I am. The first sting came when one of my son's called me a "control freak". Yep, that's what he said. I thought, "am I really?". I've also taken some informal delegation lessons from my friend Alicia, who doesn't read this :)

Just some thoughts there.

Reality - Weight Watching goes up

I've realized that when my husband is home, I tend to gain weight. Why do you suppose that is?
I have my theories on it. I also know what some of the problems are. I've now posted a not to buy list, but that didn't help so, I think I will never let him go to the store, even for milk, he usually buys something that he knows I love. What a sweetie ...

So, as I manage weight, I'm open for any hints or things that work for others.

Now, about "being real".

It's good to be real. The people that only write about rosy lives and perfection drive me nuts. Mostly, because, I know they're leaving a LOT of things out and they're not being honest. We love to write the accomplishments of our children, but when the tone is that of perfection, it just doesn't fly.

Don't get me wrong, I love to hear about positive things and good choices. It's when everything just sounds all too perfect that you know, it's not.

How about this one, it's typical in management of all sorts. All is well in my department. Why, if it's not? Good management, speaks up, they get adivce, they try new strategies, they make changes. If you make a mistake, it's okay, just own it before it becomes a disaster or very sad failure.

When I say management of all sorts, I mean, Work Managers, Home managers, Church Managers, ALL sorts of Managers!

We all need help now and then to keep all of the plates spinning too. And, by the way, so what if one breaks - there's glue. You just do the best you can.

I've also learned that you don't have to look very far, to be very happy with your own problems. I finally counted my blessings and wrote them down, I read them when I don't feel like I'm accomplishing enough. They make me feel better. So, one thing at at time, I'll look for help in Weight Management and search for advice from the cyber universe.

So,be the best manager you can be, be honest with your work force (children, friends etc..), transparancy is always the best policy - better than honesty, because by not saying something, it's still dishonest.

Just sayin'...

Queen of the Castle

It's been awhile!

When hubby is home, we’re so busy. He left for awhile, I’ll now get to bed on time. The first few day’s he only found 1 expired salad dressing. The last day he tore son #5's room completely apart. Everything out of every drawer and out of the closet and bookshelf. son #5 tried on clothes until he was blue.

I think this is part of ruler of your domain, King of your Castle, kind of thing.

Hmmm, maybe that stack of pants on the top shelf where he can’t reach them, is for him to grow into, thus …. Already, um, organized! I just let him have at it and guess what? He didn’t finish. So I have a hall full of stuff. He left only enough hangers in his closet for what was hung …. And took them all to a downstairs empty closet. Oh, except when I finished the wash I had to make two trips downstairs for hangers!!!!

It’s funny now but not then. Geez.

There is a reason they work outside the home. I’m a firm believer men provide for the family, have domain over the outside of the house and it’s upkeep, the garage, their car and storage room. Oh and if they can, they can cook the meat. (hunt it and kill it too for all I care.)

If they were to organize a kitchen, the pancake turner would be in a cupboard across the room from the stove.

Oh and they are definitely in charge of pine wood derby cars.

Actually, I’m only saying what I wish were true.

I have made all 5 of the pinewood derby cars. My dad tried to help with the last one but when he put the axel in the wood broke so we had to use son #4's car (which I made) and dad drilled holes in the bottom and filled them with lead to bring it up to weight. Son #4 came in toward the bottom and son #5 came in 2^nd of 13 boys’. So, I had some help this year. They didn’t even re-paint it.

I usually bbq the meat, until son #2 recently took over.

I also schedule the outside maintenance or the boy’s do it. (they mow, but I have to hire tree guys). Hubby does do the garage when he’s home. I do the trash with the boys sometimes. I take the car in (since we only have one J) and I do the storage room since son #3 failed in that position.

So, I do it all, including working outside my house which takes about 14 hours a week even though I only get paid for 8.

And… and … soccer L

It begins again … sigh

Oh sigh…

Practices with an Englishman for a coach … so extra long practices “men”

“don’t be a ‘nancy’ RUN! Down field”

And … the freezing cold, no parking, early morning SATURDAY (for crying out loud) games. What is wrong with these people????

Such a great venue to post a vague vent. I think this is what cyber "space" is for ...

no one reads this ... maybe an alien in 10,000 years :)

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Puppies have arrived

Well that puppy having business was only stressful due to the one puppy. After resuscitating it, which in itself was amazing, Gigi didn’t whimper or anything, I just heard all of this licking. So, I looked and there were two puppies lying beside her in her bed. She was licking away. So, the first puppy born was lifeless, completely limp and not breathing. I picked him up and started rubbing, head down etc, but nothing. Little Andrew started to cry and said, “I know Mom, I’ll say a prayer!” So he began and the thought came to me that I couldn’t kill a dead puppy. So, I just opened its little mouth and put my mouth over it and its nose and breathed air in. Andrew finished his prayer and as if right on cue it started to cough and actually moved in my hand. It was amazing to bring that little one back. She gasped for a while, we did the bulb syringe thing, didn’t seem to help though. But she pulled through. Then it hit me, that I had put my mouth on an amniotic fluid /muconium/ dog saliva covered head. Sick! I tried to rinse my mouth, but it’s still kind of a gross thought even though at the time you just do what you have to do. It worked too! Then, it just was the only one not eating. She was nuzzling and everything to try, but she just couldn’t latch on.

I tried taking them all to the vet, but Gigi went out of her mind, it was worse and I thought I could lose all 3 puppies if I stayed there, so I left and bought a bottle and formula. Dog formula smells better than human formula J, just in case you’re wondering. So we bottle fed for every 2 hours, but sometimes she almost got nothing.

The vet made a house call and tried to get her to latch on, which she did, so we thought if I helped she would quickly learn. I did get her to do it again, but when she did, it was a weird noise, then I noticed milk coming out of her little tiny nose. Her nose is fine, her upper gum is fine, but there seemed to be a small toothpick wide gap in the back of her pallet. L I haven’t even yet confirmed that with the vet that has the visual instruments to actually see it, but I’m 90% sure that is the problem. Pretty sad, so I called and I would have to continue bottle feeding her every 2 hours for about 5 weeks. NOT going to happen, I don’t have the time, energy or people to help. So, I called the vet tech back and she wanted to do it for free. Right! She deserves to have this puppy if she’s going to hand raise it. So, we sadly said good bye to her yesterday afternoon. I got home from work and fed her what I could and Trish (vet tech) was here in a hour with a nice hot water bottle bed etc… she’ll take her to work with her and get the surgery she’ll need at about 5 months old. I was so very grateful to be able to find such a woman. She saved the puppy, will give her a wonderful home, released our family of such a high maintenance duty, released us from the pain of watching her die if we failed. Anyway, this lady is a puppy angel J

Ok, so, now Gigi is just doing all the mothering. I don’t have to worry about really anything other than what I normally do with her. She doesn’t follow me around the house, she stays in the puppy box. I do have to make sure they have a warm environment, but that’s it. Ok, free to work on the normal household chores (LAUNDRY to my eyeballs!) cleaning toilets, floors, dishes, food to make, beds to clean, stuff to dust, oh a stupid tree to fan the branches, put missing lights on, decorate mess and clean-up. We’ll have one guest for Christmas so I have to figure out what exactly to do for him. I still have fall décor up. Geez!

Ok, have a lovely day! Mine is half over and then time to pick up school prepare for a different class that I haven’t taught for a year and then scouts, mutual, piano, school pick-ups and the worst … dinner. What to make?

Ok, better get to those toilets! I have so much time, oh and bills that need paid, do you think bright yellow envelops mean anything?

Life is exhausting

I haven't had time to do anything. Since I last wrote. I'm still not unpacked from our visit to NYC. I don't remember life being so incredibly hectic when I was younger. Have times changed that much?

What did mothers do all day? Oh wash by hand, kill the chicken, bleed it, pluck & clean it, cook it, roll out the homemade noodles just for chicken soup for dinner. Oh and beat the only rug to get the dirt out.

It seems to me that we would have so much more time. The soup is in the can, you can probably vacuum an entire 7 rooms for the time it took to drag out a rag rug and beat it properly. Laundry is done almost completely for you. So, what's the deal?

My children are having an old fashioned day today. They are riding bikes and helping me clean. I nixed the "screens" - anything with a screen is off-limits, unless they are calling me from their cell. Oh, yeah, cell phones. When my grandmother wanted me because I'd been gone all day playing, she'd go to the back yard and call or start calling neighbors to see where I was and they'd send me home and visa versa. Now, I have to worry if they're not home on time.

My friend and I would walk to town. It's a big deal for my children to walk up to the local grocer.

I have letters to write and a box to send to my son. I have work lessons and church lessons to pepare for. Oh, yes and Thanksgiving is Thursday. My husband will miss our dinner so it will be kind of weird to have so few people here. I'll still roast a turkey - don't love it, but it HAS to smell like Thanksgivng or it wouldn't be Thanksgiving. I tried it one year by roasting a beef roast. NOT the same!

Even bigger news, my cute little 4lb dog is due with 4-5 puppies. x-ray was inconclusive as to how many there were. It looked like 5 to me and the tech. Vet wouldn't commit. So, I have a whelping box that my dad made. I'm not sure she even likes it, so who knows if she'll use it. Then, will I know what to do? Will I know if I should take her to the vet because things aren't working right? That is my worry, that she will need me and I won't be able to help and we'll end up with a c-section. I don't want to jump the gun on that, but I don't want to risk her or puppies either. They'll be so darling. I'm not sure I'll be able to part with them. I'm obviously not a dog breeder, she's family, not a business.

Well that all being said, I need to get busy with my list of things to do today. It's so long, I get nauseated looking at it, prioritizing it was difficult, as was my decision to write this before. It's been much too long between posts, but no one reads it except for me and 1 other person. Good venting for me though, or a means of expression to the great void in the absence of a good listening ear.

Simplicity - is non existant, but i'm trying.