Life Seasons

We went to dinner to celebrate my eldest son’s birthday. He is 23 now. I am sitting there, looking at him, and remembering this newborn baby. A baby that I just couldn’t get enough of. I would watch him sleep, hold him, and I was just amazed at how beautiful he was, and that he was mine. Well, he felt like mine at the time, I knew he wasn’t really in the eternal perspective, but for the time being, he really was mine. Mine to love, to nurture, to teach, to hold and on and on.

I can so clearly remember his birth; I can visualize him in his crib at many stages of his rapid growth. His first birthday, with a bit of over the top presents and a cake just for him to get everywhere.

I remember every stage, every season of his life and how it meshed with mine. His struggles were mine (still are in a very strong sense), his triumphs and milestones.

So, looking at him across the table and discussing the latest paper he is writing, he is such a young adult.

I realize the influence I have had on him, the influence and great parenting of his father. The responsibilities learned from living in a family where in order to provide his father was away much of the time. I honestly believe in quantity of time as well as quality time, but his father has been a great father and a true example of a man … of the man my son will become. Even in his often, absence he has exerts great parenting long-distance. I’m very grateful for e-mail, IM, Skype, cell phones and videophone abilities. We can’t physically always feel his hugs or arms around us, but I can assure anyone reading this that we feel his hugs, we feel his love, there is no doubt. My son has also taken a great personal duty in being a good big brother, and in many ways emulating his father. Oh, did I mention that I love this man? J

I could list my son’s worldly accomplishments, GPA, Eagle Scout, elections won etc… All of those pale in comparison of the kind of man, father and husband he will become. I so hope for the best of him in those areas, as he is not yet at an age for those things, or I hope he’s not for a while. (I do admit I look forward to grand babies!)

So, it is as I watch my children’s seasons pass, and mine pass right along with them.

I have children in other seasons, so I’ll enjoy those too.

I cannot believe I am old enough to have a son his age; it has just been so fast. What have I done with all of my days? I am sure many have lacked greatly, but when I look at him or one of my other children, I think my days have been well spent.

Civility, Journalistic Ethics

I’ve noticed for over a year now that people are getting “rude and downright nasty” when it comes to discussing political issues.

Most people have their mind made up, but are only aware of one side of the story. How can that be? Journalism at least ethical journalists present an unbiased presentation of both sides of the story. People recently are make statements that are so biased, that it’s easy to tell that they have only grasped or been presented with one view, and they believed it. They have been shown unprecedented edited video, but never the un-edited version. Why didn’t they seek out the other side of the story, it seems unwise to me. However, in their defense, general honesty is what we could expect of mainstream news sources that we’re presented with in the United States at least, well, until a few years ago.

I get a queasy feeling, WHEN SOME ONE IS TELLING ME SOMETHING THAT BEGINS OR SEEKS TO CREATE CONTENTION, OR STIR HEARTS TO CONTENTION, or FEAR which is the opposite of FAITH. That is my first blinking neon light in my brain that something isn’t right, something isn’t Christ-like.

Sometimes and usually where I am, it’s a member of my congregation, family, or church that does this. However, what if it’s a popular nationally recognized person, a person of influence and stature? My first comfort came when Dieter F. Uchtdorf’s spoke this past Easter Weekend. Read it yourself. We have responsibility to love one another, and do unto others... (you know the scripture). We have a responsibility to feed the hungry, take care of the less fortunate, sick, and needy. It is our Christian duty.

I was so excited to read his talk I went to the website and found the most comforting press releases. http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-mormon-ethic-of-civility and then Http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/journalistic-integrity-and-the-compartmentalization-of-ethics

ok this is the radio station that I listen to. The one that has some common sense journalistic ethics as a standard.

Now I know why, I was confused (again, it was a stupor of thought), thus wrong. I had someone actually say that he didn’t know how anyone that belonged to a certain Party could honestly answer questions to receive a recommend. Wow! If you read those two articles you’ll see why this was … well, whatever it was. Maybe this man is also not so clear on the 12th Article.

Ok, so now, I feel better, and I know why a bad feeling comes when things are wrong. The contention, the strife, the unease, THE STUPOR OF THOUGHT, versus the peace that comes with civil dialogue and exchange of reasonable ideas.

NPR does a great job and it sometimes gives insight into people we know, love and want to help. I don’t always agree, but it helps me to be compassionate, kind to those that are different – even if I don’t understand them. I broadens my perspective and makes it easier to spread the gospel because it helps me to be less judgmental. Oh, I think there was counsel given on that very subject as well!

They’re good reads; I encourage anyone to read publications published with authority. Or engage without malice in the conversation of exchange of ideas, and dialogue dedicated to commonsense solutions.

I know quite a few people that could benefit from this right now. I’m sure you know a few too…. Enjoy the reading! It’s comforting – the opposite of fear or contention. ahhh peace.

... and she never complained ...

Where did that come from and I want to know what husband said that!

I also what to know how it is that, not complaining is seen or said as though it’s some sort of virture. Doesn’t the person that say's that just mean that “she” never “complained” to him? Maybe it’s my interpretation of complain. It’s not the same as “nag” to me.

It’s sharing honest feelings, emotions, heartaches, sadness's, wishes, hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow.

I can say that my husband honestly knows me, who I am, who he married. He knows me and loves me, if he didn’t know all of those things, then who does he love anyway?

I think it’s important to share. Now sometimes, it becomes a “vent” and I will preface what I say as a vent if it’s a vent. It’s not blaming anyone for a situation, because you all know that things are what they are.

I’m sad when my husband leaves and when I “complain” that he has to go again, he never thinks that I actually think he can do something about it. He’s doing the very best he can. He’s doing the very best he can for ME and our children!

So, you may think that I complain when he leaves and I do, but it’s not a bad thing just the expression that I wish he didn’t have to. My complaint actually lets him know that I so wish he didn’t have to leave.

I’ll also “complain” that I’m always on the front line, but there’s that Queen of the Castle thing that isn’t so bad either. Now because I’m on the front line, even if he’s home and the garage door breaks it’s fixed by someone else the same day, I know how to get some things done. He’s happy about that.

So, I right now am feeling sad and complaining that we’re not independently wealthy and that my husband has to work so much and so far away most of the time. I like him in near proximity sometimes. He’s always near to my heart and I can talk to him everyday. I feel lucky that way, not everyone can talk or communicate everyday with their loved ones. So, now my complaint has turned into an expression of good fortune. Yay, I’ll get to chat with him shortly.

Now what I don't usually complain about are things that he can't fix or give me advice on. Like work. We have an understanding, if you need to vent, say that and then go ahead and vent. But if it's something he can't fix or give me great advice on and visa-versa then it's a waste of our precious time to discuss someting that is frivilous to the other, we'd rather discuss WHAT TO DO with this or that problem. I think we're pretty good at trusting eachother to manage our rehlm - him the providing - me "nurturing". There are strong overlaps for anyone that knows us, but he can do his job, I can do mine.

A little solicited advice never hurts sometimes either. So, balance in all things, I guess and I have just been bugged all day, because I've read or heard that phrase and now I know better why it may be my misinterpretation and it surly means "nag" to someone. I don't know, any ideas?